Summoning the Shinigami
by Writing bunny
Summary: The Shiki Fuujin. A forbidden technique created to summon the Shinigami. But which one? A series of independent oneshots.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't Own Naruto. I don't own Bleach either.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

It was the worst night in Konoha's history. The Kyuubi no Kitsune was closing on them, its enormous tails swaying around, destroying everything in their paths, its gigantic paws crushing everything they stepped onto, its sharp teeth biting through everything that was so unlucky to get close to them. The shinobi of Konoha fought valiantly, in an effort to slow it down, but the monster was relentless in its approach towards their home. Their hopes were relying on the Yondaime Hokage, their beloved leader and recognized genius in their world. Surely he would be able to stop the demon, wouldn't he?

"The Yondaime is here!" The shout lifted the spirits of everybody on the battlefield. Their courage was almost broken under the Killing Intent of the beast, but now they found the strength to fight again.

Namikaze Minato wasn't feeling so confident, and it wasn't only due to the price of what he was attempting to do. Sure, he checked his seal design for bugs and was sure there weren't any, but that changed nothing about the fact that it was an untested jutsu. Who knows what could happen? And how would the God of Death respond to the summoning? Only one way to find out. He brought his hands together and ran his fingers through a sequence of seals.

_Mi, I, Hitsuji, U, Inu__, Ne, Tori, Uma, Mi._

„Shiki Fuujin no Jutsu!"

He felt a disturbance in the air behind him accompanied by a chill, signifying the appearance of the Shinigami. He braved a glance behind. There stood a truly fearsome apparition, taking the form of a huge man in black with hair done up in spikes ended with bells and an eyepatch and a katana at his waist. Minato didn't know what he was expecting, but he somehow felt something was wrong here. But he couldn't back off now.

"Shinigami-sama," he spoke, "Please assist me with defeating the demon in front of us. In exchange…"

"Oh, a battle!" the man in black interrupted him enthusiastically and rushed forward. Minato could only stare open-mouthed.

The battle that followed was unlike anything the Yondaime, or anyone in Konoha, had ever seen. The summoned man charged at the Kyuubi with an old rusty sword. The Nine-tails didn't think much of him at first, but quickly had to change its opinion. It had to, after the jagged blade cut of two of its tails before it could turn around. And unlike the wounds caused by Konoha ninja's jutsu, these wounds didn't close almost as soon as they were inflicted. They didn't heal at all. It didn't take long for the Kyuubi to lay on the ground in a whimpering mass. The Shinigami, or whatever it was, didn't relent in its attack. A couple of sword strokes later and the once so fearsome demon dispersed in a mass of chakra.

"Ah, now that was what I call a good fight," the summon, his clothes completely torn, stated. "Too bad I have to go now. Bye!" and he disappeared.

Minato stood on top of Gamabunta's head, surveying the damage. Half of the forests around Konoha was leveled, there were valleys and hills where there were none yesterday, part of the wall surrounding the village was broken, but thankfully only training grounds were close to it and no significant damage befell the residential area. It was a far cry from the outcome he imagined, but he was still alive and nothing happened to his son, so he wasn't complaining.

"Minato, what the hell was that?" The Boss Toad asked slowly.

"I don't know," the Hokage answered, "and I don't even want to. But this technique should better be forgotten."

"I can't agree more," Gamabunta nodded before dispelling.

Minato landed gracefully on his feet. The shinobi of Konoha were gathering around, cheering on him. He shook his head. He had a village to govern, he would have too much on his mind to think about what he had just witnessed. Oh, and he had to come up with an explanation to this. He sure wasn't looking forward to that.

So this one-shot is over. I started writing another with a different Shinigami, but got around one sentence into it. I might finish it if you are interested enough (and if I'm inspired enough).


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.:** Here comes another summoned Shinigami. This is in no way a sequel of the previous oneshot, all the oneshots here are completely independent.

**Disclaimer:** I own neither Naruto nor Bleach. Got it?

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Sarutobi was getting desperate. He had many good reasons to be. First his prized student had attacked Konoha. Then he summoned his predecessors and made them fight against him. And then he revealed that he had completed his Immortality jutsu and was currently occupying the body of a young woman. The Sandaime was a bit torn between being disgusted and admiring Orochimaru's accomplishments.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Now was no time to be proud of his wayward disciple. He was the Hokage and he had a duty to protect Konoha. He heard Enma's comment about how he should have killed Orochimaru when he had the chance. As much as it pained him, he agreed. He should have done it. But he didn't. He let his feelings for his prodigal apprentice get in the way, so he had to correct the mistake now. But how? It wasn't just that Orochimaru was strong, the female face taunting him reminded him of the fact that killing his student might prove to be a technical problem even if he didn't defend himself. And let's not forget about the two revived Hokages. So what now?

As much as he hated to admit it, he was an old man now. His armor felt so heavy, wearing him, dragging him down even more than the knowledge of his failure as a teacher. He wished he had never ignored the dark traits he saw in his dark-haired student, too blinded by his shining talent. He wished he had done his duty as the Hokage properly when the truth about the Snake Sannin could no longer be denied. He wished there was someone else, someone younger in his place now. He wished the Yondaime never died, but his successor/predecessor was gone, his soul devoured by the Shinigami when he had summoned it to stop the advance of Kyuubi no Kitsune.

Wait – Shinigami – that sounded like an idea. The Soul Reaper would take care of the supposedly immortal Orochimaru and his two undead puppets. Now how was it? He remembered the correct sequence of handseals, but that was hardly enough to successfully perform a jutsu. He wished the Yondaime had left behind more detailed notes, but the man was in quite a hurry. But Sarutobi was known as the Professor for a reason and he was confident he could complete it even from the sketchy information. 'Here goes everything,' he thought.

_Mi, I, Hitsuji, U, Inu, Ne, Tori, Uma, Mi._

He felt the sudden drop in the temperature around. There stood a tall man in a black kimono with an expansive-looking shawl, his dark hair styled into a traditional nobleman's style. A katana was sheathed at his side. 'Is that the death the Yondaime spoke about,' the Sandaime wondered.

The figure looked around, taking in the figures of the revived Senju brothers and the woman's body possessed by Orochimaru.

"How uncivilized," he spoke. "Disturbing the peace of the dead, possessing another's body." It had absolutely no effect on Orochimaru. He couldn't see nor hear it after all. Than the black-clad man moved.

From Orochimaru's point of view, the figures of the Shodai and Nidaime suddenly collapsed and turned into dust, revealing the dead bodies of Zaku and Kin.

"What?" he stammered. This wasn't supposed to happen. The two Hokages should have remained his slaves until he died. "What have you done, old man?" he demanded angrily, but there was an underlying hint of panic. When he called his sensei the God of Shinobi earlier, his tone was mocking, but now he was harshly reminded that Sarutobi had earned the title. The Sandaime didn't answer. He was wondering himself. What exactly did he summon? Somehow he doubted that this was the same thing the Yondaime called forth.

Byakuya meanwhile finished the Soul Burial of the two enslaved souls and proceeded to deal with their summoner. Orochimaru suddenly felt his hold on his current body loosening. What was happening? The three years since his last transfer weren't up yet. He panicked. He couldn't die here! He still haven't learned all the jutsu in the world! He had yet to possess Sasuke and gain the Sharingan! But the pull on his soul was unyielding.

He saw an aristocratic-looking man holding on him.

"Let me go!" he screamed. "How dare you!"

"So uncivilized," Byakuya remarked. Orochimaru's frantic trashing did nothing to slow him. He was used to worse. Finally he was finished and dragged the deprived soul to Hell, where it belonged.

Sarutobi remained standing inside the barrier open-mouthed. What did just happen? This wasn't how the jutsu was supposed to work.

"Orochimaru-sama!" cried a panicked voice. It shook the elderly Hokage from his musings. His traitorous student was dead, but Konoha was still under siege. He had to fight now, he'd have time for thinking later.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.:** So here comes another one-shot. It's shorter, buty I hope that it's also funnier.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

"I'll acquire every jutsu in the world!" Orochimaru boasted. Sarutobi was sickened. Did he really ever consider this… this monster his star pupil? He couldn't recall what he was thinking. He had to stop the creature before him at all costs. But how? The Immortality jutsu promised to be pesky and that wasn't even taking into account the two undead summons. But fortunately he was the Professor, the man who learned every non-clan technique in Konoha and he had just the right solution to this mess.

"So you want to learn every jutsu in the world?" He smirked. "Let me show you something you haven't seen before."

"Come on, sensei, show me," the snake man taunted. The eager gleam in his eyes suggested he couldn't wait to learn a new technique. _Well,_ Sarutobi thought, _watch closely. It is going to be the last thing you'll ever see._

"Shiki Fuujin no Jutsu!" He felt the subtle shift in the air, announcing the arrival of the Shinigami. He had always wondered how the Death God looked like. He turned his head… and found himself staring at the biggest pair of boobs he had ever seen. Not even Tsunade came close. The battle immediately forgotten, he couldn't tear his eyes from the heavenly sight. Blood streamed from his nose and he fainted.

"Men are perverts everywhere," muttered Matsumoto Rangiku. "Now what was so important to drag me from my nail-poli… ahem, work?" She took a look around and spotted two souls dragged from their eternal rest by a bloody ritual and one body possessed by an evil entity. As the vice-captain of the Tenth division she felt obliged to do something about it before returning to Seireitei.

When the Anbu later came to the scene, they found the dead bodies of two Sound genin, one unknown female and their Hokage passed out with a huge smile plastered on his face. They never figured what had occurred there and the Sandaime never told anyone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note:** I'm back! And for everybody who asked, here comes Yondaime again.

**Disclaimer:** I own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

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The Kyuubi was coming closer. The battalions of Konoha shinobi were doing their best to hold it off, but they were failing miserably. Their only hope laid in their Hokage.

The Yondaime was currently feeling very unsure of himself. He had just finished the seal array that was supposed to hold the Kyuubi. He could only pray that he had made no mistakes in it. There was no time to check it through. But that wasn't the main problem. He was more worried about the part of the ritual that summoned the Shinigami. Would the Death God appear? Would he assist him or would he punish him for interrupting… whatever a deity does in its spare time? Only one way to find out. Minato sighed and summoned Gamabunta. Time to go to the battle.

He stood atop Gamabunta's head and the Kyuubi still towered over him. He felt another pang of doubt. Will he really be able to defeat it? Well, it wasn't like he could back down now. The demon had noticed him and turned his big head with flaming eyes towards him. The young Hokage clasped his hands together and formed a series of seals. He felt a drain on his chakra and a shift in the air behind him signaling the arrival of the being he summoned. Was it really the Death God? He glanced behind him to make sure. He took in what he saw and blinked, but the sight stayed the same. Yep, it seemed that he had really summoned a five-year-old girl with pink hair. He didn't know what to think. Could she be the Shinigami? She was dressed in black and had a sword at her side, but its guard was shaped as a blossom. It was utterly unbefitting for a deity of Death. She didn't look like much, but Minato didn't become Hokage by judging things and people by their appearances. Even if the being next to him looked like a little girl, she might be a powerful goddess.

"So cute!"

Or maybe not. Maybe she was just a little girl and they were all doomed.

"That's a cute fluffy bunny you have there, Goldie," the girl cooed. "May I keep him?"

Cute? Fluffy? Bunny? Where? And did she just call him Goldie? No one got away with this.

"Hey Goldie, can you hear me?" She waved a hand in front of his face. Only now he realized he had been staring openmouthed. He quickly shut his jaw. "Can I keep the big fluffy Bunny there? And the big Froggy?"

"Who do you call froggy? I'm a toad," Gamabunta grumbled.

"Not the biggy Froggy then," the pinkette said. "He's not nice and he smokes. I don't like it. I'll want only the bunny. May I have him, please?"

"Of course," Minato said not knowing what else to do. And he really didn't know. This little girl was obviously crazy. He had hoped to summon a powerful deity to assist in his fight, but it failed. He was at the end of his wits and he had no time to try and come up with something else.

Then he noticed what the girl was doing and his mouth fell open once again. She leapt through the air and landed on the head of the Kyuubi. The monster tried to swat her away with one of his tails, but she jumped over it effortlessly.

"Bad Bunny!" she shouted and swatted the demon fox on the head. It roared in rage. It tried to bite her, but she evaded nimbly. "Bad, bad Bunny!" she scolded beating the beast on its nose. "Behave or there will be no snacks tonight!"

The Yondaime watched in disbelief as the little girl proceeded to beat on the fearsome demon like he was nothing more than an unruly puppy. He had to correct his earlier assessment about her not being a goddess. No one else could possibly do that. And as for her childish behavior, well, he supposed even the gods themselves used to be young once.

Finally the mighty beast was lying on the ground in a pitiful heap, trembling violently.

"Will you be good now, Bunny?" the girl asked him. The nine-tails whined. "That's good, because I'm taking you home now. If you don't behave, Ken-chan will get angry and beat on you." The kitsune whimpered. "Bye, Goldie! Bye, Froggy!" she called before disappearing with the Kyuubi.

Minato stood trying to make any sense of what just happened. All around him, the Konoha shinobi started rejoicing, praising him for his victory and asking what he had done. He wanted to know too.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Somewhere across the many dimensions, another man was wondering why did he bother getting up this particular morning. He focused his sights on the two people in front of him.

"Say that again?" he asked in his best 'don't mess with me' tone. It was really fearsome tone, considering the experience he had using it, but the pair in front of him was completely unfazed.

"This is Bunny," Yachiru pointed at the monster currently sitting at the courtyard of the 11th division headquarters. "He followed me home. He is mine."

"It's a monster, Kusajishi-fukutaichou," commander-general Yamamoto said slowly. "Most Gillians aren't as dangerous."

"But Ken-chan said I can keep him," the pink-haired girl pouted. It made her look entirely too cute. The supreme commander of Gotei 13 considered outlawing such expressions. They were extremely hard to resist.

"Anything to make Yachiru-chan happy," Zaraki Kenpachi confirmed.

"I'm saying you have to get rid of this," Yamamoto Genryuusai scowled. Even his patience was running thin. "Either you send it back to wherever you got it from or kill it."

"Kill Bunny-chan?" Yachiru looked like she wanted to cry.

"The 11th division loves him," Kenpachi added.

Yamamoto sighed. This was going to be a long day, indeed. He had lived for a very long time, seen many things considered impossible, fought battles considered hopeless, but absolutely nothing had prepared him for the task of convincing the 11th division that they can't keep the Kyuubi no Kitsune as their mascot.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N.:** Another attempt on being funny. I don't know if it's quite up to the standard, but it's all I got.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto or Bleach. Does anyone actually believe I do?

**Summoning the Shinigami**

/\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\./\

The Kyuubi was coming closer. The Yondaime Hokage could see it clearly from his position atop Gamabunta's head. Almost too clearly for his tastes. Its gigantic paws, monstrous body, nine tails of power swinging in the air, destroying everything in their paths, flaming eyes, the snarling mouth with two rows of too long, too sharp teeth, its red furry nose and saliva dripping from its tongue after it swallowed one of his shinobi as a midnight snack. He couldn't allow it to come any closer.

He clasped his hands together in the seals necessary to summon the Death God, the only being in existence powerful enough to stop the rampaging monster. He could feel the jutsu taking effect. A presence materialized behind him. He turned to look at it. He came face to face with a black nose, furry snout, predatory eyes and foxy ears. It was the last thing he remembered before his mind shut down from the shock.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Capitan Komamura was used to strange thing. Well, to most people he was a strange thing himself. He used to hide it under a helmet, but then the Ryoka came and that psycho Zaraki had shattered it. Then Aizen revealed himself a traitor and things went downhill from there. The fact that something had suddenly pulled him into a strange world with fainting people, giant toads and homicidal monsters didn't seem too weird in comparison.

So what was one captain of the 7th division going to do in this kind of situation? The overgrown cross between a fox and a rabbit was neither a Hollow nor an Arrancar, but it was still a spiritual being attacking mortals, and therefore his responsibility. He wondered what would it say to a slash with a Zanpakuto.

._/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_.

When they later asked the Yondaime how did he defeat the Kyuubi, he only smiled mysteriously. No amount of prodding could make him give in. The truth was he himself had no idea how did it happen. The only thing he was sure about was that he nearly got a coronary.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.:** Another one here! This one with Sarutobi, because he wasn't here for a couple of chapters. Next will be Minato again.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

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Sarutobi was in quite a pitch. His traitorous student had attacked Konoha and summoned his predecessors and made them fight him. He had already found out that he couldn't destroy them through conventional means. And what was even worse, Orochimaru had completed his immortality jutsu and was now possessing another's body. The Sandaime wasn't sure if it was even possible to kill him now.

He went through his list of options and immediately discarded them as ineffective. In the end, only one remained. It was something he hoped he would never have to use, but once again his hopes didn't come through. Well, it wasn't like it was the first time he had faced a hopeless situation. He shouldn't despair now. He had lived a long and quite good live. With a sigh, he clasped his hands together in his final jutsu.

_Mi, I, Hitsuji, U, Inu, Ne, Tori, Uma, Mi._

He felt the technique taking effect. A presence materialized behind him. He slowly turned to take a look at it. There stood a person in black with a broken comb stuck in their hair.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.

Ayasegawa Yumichika wasn't having a good day. First his uniform got torn and dirty during sparring, one of his armbands was completely ruined and he got dirt on his face. He washed and changed only to realize that his hair was tangled. He tried to brush it, but it was knotted so badly that the comb stuck. It made him so angry that he gripped the comb so hard that he broke it. For the fifth seat of the eleventh division it was sometimes hard to control his strength.

And if all of that wasn't enough, he suddenly felt a strange pull and the next moment he appeared in an unfamiliar world filled with ugly people. Just look at them. The one standing right before him looked older than old Yamamoto and he had an unsightly mole on his face. Than there was a white-haired guy with a scowl and very inartistic facial markings. The black-haired guy beside him didn't look that bad, but his fashion sense was lacking seriously. And so was everybody else's. And the pale-skinned bloke in the behind… did he think his make-up was pretty? Then he was sorely mistaken. And let's not even start about the freak show standing around, holding up some kind of barrier. Most Hollows looked better.

.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.

Sarutobi stared at the odd apparition. The man, at least he thought it was a man, it was hard to tell with his girlish face and make-up, looked between them and a look of distaste settled on his face.

"You're all so ugly." The Sandaime blinked. That wasn't something he had expected from the God of Death. "I hate ugly people," he added and then disappeared in a blur. The elderly Hokage couldn't see what he was doing, but then he saw his student and his two predecessors collapsing. He looked around, but he couldn't see the stranger anywhere. But he could see Orochimaru's guards glaring murder at him. There was no time to muse over the odd effect the Shiki Fuujin had. He still had a battle to fight.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ayasegawa was ready to call the day outright bad. The moment he returned from the crazy world captain Kenpachi decided to begin a practice alarm. He sighed and ran to his assigned place. He still had the comb stuck in his hair.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N.:** Here I come again. I hope this is up to my standards.

To the reader who didn't bother to login: I thought about it from the begining, I just didn't get the right muse to write it yet.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

It was the closest Konoha had come to destruction in its entire history. The Nine-tailed beast was coming closer and there was nothing the brave shinobi of the Village Hidden in the Leaves could do to stop it. Only the young Yondaime Hokage had an idea how to stop the monster. He stood atop Gamabunta's head, facing the approaching demon, his hands clasped together in seals. _Please let it work, _he prayed. He didn't like what he was about to do a bit, but he couldn't see any other option.

"Shiki Fuujin." He felt the Death God materializing behind him. He turned to look around to come face to face with a man in a black kimono covered with a flowery pink cloak over a white one and straw hat with a saucer of sake in his hand, which overturned as the man looked around in surprise. Somehow, Minato had the sinking feeling that this wasn't the Shinigami he was trying to summon.

"Oops, I spilled my sake," the newcomer said eyeing the dark spot on his flower haori. "Do you have some more? And where am I and why did you drag me here? I was in the middle of something important, namely drinking and ogling pretty girls, you know?" The Yondaime nodded mutely. Only one thought was running through his head: _He's just like Jiraiya-sense. _They even had both long hair tied in a ponytail, though this one's was dark and wavy. The thought was closelyfollowed by _we're so screwed. _"So what was so important? Oh, don't tell me, it's the fuzzball over there." Once again the Hokage could only nod. The stranger sighed. "I'd better take care of it."

What happened next made the young Hokage seriously doubt his sanity. The stranger leisurely walked up to the rampaging Kyuubi. "Hey, you!" he shouted. No response. "Hey, Fluffy! I'm talking to you!" The second shout was accompanied with a kick to the Kitsune's paw. The demon turned his head and tried to bite the offender. The flowery-dressed man dodged. To anyone else it would have appeared like he disappeared from one spot and reappeared on another, but the Yellow Flash was accustomed to following extremely fast movement. The speed the stranger exhibited was something he would have trouble matching unless he used the Hiraishin.

The Kyuubi growled. Minato wasn't sure, but it sounded like _**"Worrrrmmm."**_ The brightly-cloaked man smiled brightly.

"Hey! Fuzzy! What do you say about playing a game with me!" The demon answered by swiping his tails at the man, which he evaded again. "Why so unsociable?" the stranger asked with a long face. "It's an easy game. It's called Colors. I say a color and we try to hit it and then you say the color. It's really easy, you see?" During his speech the Kyuubi was trying to kill the man, but he avoided all its attack with practiced ease. He looked like he wasn't even trying. Then he unsheathed a pair of wicked-looking swords. "I'll start. Red!" he shouted and attacked the demon fox. The attack didn't leave any significant damage. The Fourth sighed. The long-haired man couldn't do anything as well. They were really doomed.

The stranger was completely unfazed by his lack of success. "Now it's your turn! Pick a color!"

Kyuubi growled. It might have been _**"Rrrrrrrred"**_ or it might have been just simple _**"Grrrrrr."**_ He couldn't tell. The beast lunged at the man, who dodged again, but lost both his overcoats in the process.

"My turn again! Black!" Now he sprung into attack. It was too fast for the monster to do anything. The stranger's sword sunk deep into its nose. There was no way it could have caused more than superficial damage, but then the Kyuubi's head split in two. Minato stared openmouthed. He realized the man was just like Jiraiya-sensei. A drunken pervert, but extremely efficient in battle.

The stranger sheathed his swords and picked up his cloaks.

"So now that's done, where can I get more sake around here? And where are you hiding all the pretty ladies?"

Yes, exactly like Jiraiya indeed.

"So here you are!" an angry female voice resounded behind them. They turned to see a young woman with glasses wearing a kimono top with a short skirt.

"Lisa-chan!" the flowery man greeted.

"Don't Lisa-chan me," the woman, apparently named Lisa, scowled and to make her displeasure better known, she punctuated it with a kick.

"Slacker! Did you think the paperwork will do itself? You know you can't hide from me!" And with the words she grabbed him and they both disappeared, leaving a completely flabbergasted Hokage to figure out what in hell did just happen.


	8. Chapter 8

A.N.: I'm back! I decided that even with the recent relevations about the sealing of the Kyuubi, I can still use this concept. And of course there's still Sandaime's fight with Orochimaru, so this story isn't dead.

Warning: Recent manga spoilers.

Disclaimer: I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

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The situation was looking bleak for them. The exact thing they had been so afraid of had happened. The masked man, who he was almost certain was Uchiha Madara, had appeared when the seal holding the Kyuubi had weakened, took little Naruto hostage and released the beast from its prison in front of his very eyes. And as if that wasn't enough, he had exercised his mind-control over it and made it attack Konoha. He had fought and defeated him, but he had failed to kill him. The fiend disappeared with his dimensional jutsu and even his Hiraishin couldn't follow him. He couldn't help but think that the man would come back to bite them into their collective posterior. And there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. He had the Kyuubi to deal with first.

There weren't many things he could do to stop a rampaging nine-tailed demon fox. In fact, the only thing he could come up with was a combination of Shiki Fuujin and Hakke no Fuuin Shiki. It would do to imprison the demon safely again. The downside of this process was that it would kill both him and Kushina. And speaking of his wife, she was just loudly protesting his idea.

"I'm sorry, dear," he said solemnly, "it's the only way." He let the fiery redhead say her final goodbye to their son and started the summoning process. Nine handseals later the air behind him shifted and the Shinigami appeared. He looked over his shoulder to see how the Death God looked like.

He was mildly surprised by what he saw. He had no idea how the Shinigami should look like, but he had expected him to be scary. And he had expected him to be him. Instead there stood a woman in traditional black-and white garb with a strange hairdo, who looked as non-threatening as you can possibly get. He hoped he didn't do any mistake during the summoning. Now would be a very bad time for things to go wrong... ahem... even worse.

"Now what do we have here?" she spoke looking around. "Oh! Such a cute baby!"

Minato didn't know what to think. He certainly didn't expect the Shinigami to coo over cute babies. But if she indeed was a god of death and took interest in Naruto... well, he didn't even want to come there. And if she wasn't... he didn't want to go there either. How was he supposed to stop the Kyuubi if his last-ditch effort failed?

Speaking of which, the beast freed of Madara's mind-control changed its course and was now heading towards their location. It roared angrily, intent on killing the one who had held it prisoner for so long. The strange woman whirled around, her long braid (done curiously in the front) swinging wildly.

"I would appreciate if you didn't disturb us," she spoke quietly looking at the Kitsune.

'What is she thinking?' thought Minato. 'Does she actually believe this would help?' But to his utter surprise the Kyuubi actually stopped its approach. It sat on its hind paws and eyed them confusedly.

Because the great demon indeed was confused. There was something in the petite woman's gentle voice that made him think that disobeying her would be a very, very bad idea. Then he shook himself. He was the most powerful of all nine Bijuu. He could destroy whole mountain ranges with a single swipe of one of his tails. (He had never actually tried it, but he was convinced he could do it if he really wanted. Really.) There was no way he would back of from some tiny insignificant worm of a woman. He growled in anger and moved forward.

"Please, don't come any closer," Unohana spoke softly. Kyuubi halted his progress. He didn't know what had occurred, but his evil heart was suddenly clutched by an unfamiliar but intense feeling. In some distant corner of his mind he realized it was probably fear, but he discarded the idea. There was nothing he was afraid of. Nothing! Certainly not some woman with strange fashion sense. "That way I won't be forced to stop you," she added with a smile. Kyuubi turned around and ran. He couldn't explain it himself, but he was filled with sudden desire to be far away. Preferably on the other side of the Elemental countries.

"It looks like I'm no longer needed here, so I'll be going," Unohana said and disappeared. Minato stood staring openmouthed. The glow of Kyuubi's oppressive chakra was slowly disappearing over the horizon.

"Minato, what the hell did just happen?" Kushina asked. She couldn't see the Shinigami so she was even more confused than her husband.

"Damned if I know," he answered.

"So what are we going to do now?" That was the question. What were they going to do? Loud wail from Naruto announced them that they probably should get home first. And then they should come up with something to stop the Kyuubi once and for all, because it was sure to come back. Eventually. Once it could be sure that the scary lady wasn't there anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N.:** Here goes Sandaime again, he didn't see any action for quite some time. And with him somebody that had been requested.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Bleach nor Naruto. Why do I have to repeat it every chapter?

**Summoning the Shinigami**

!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!

Sarutobi was cursing himself inwardly. Why did he allow things to deteriorate that far? Because no matter how he looked at it, the current mess was entirely his fault. Why, oh why had he been so blind to Orochimaru's darker side? And it wasn't like he didn't know about it, he just had convinced himself that it didn't matter, that the prodigy would grow out of it. Whatever had possessed him when he let the Snake Sannin go away once his crimes had been exposed? Did he really think that his favorite student would have a change of heart and renounce his evil ways? How could he so easily disregard all the evidence when it was presented in front of his eyes?

He had to suppress a shudder when he remembered it. The secret underground lab had been truly terrifying. He could never forget the sight of the dissected bodies hanging on the walls, the organs floating in glass jars and the horribly mutilated something, which had only after close observation revealed that it had once been a man. He couldn't even imagine what inhumane procedures had been performed on it to change him into... that.

And now the reminder of his past failures was standing before him, smirking in his typical creepy way and hiding behind the reanimated bodies of his predecessors. He had tried fighting them, but it proved to be above his abilities. He was an old man now while those three were in their prime. His breath was already coming short while they showed no sign of being winded. He suspected they couldn't even run out of energy as long as their master (he shuddered at this word) was alive. A grim predicament indeed, but the Sandaime had no intentions of giving up. He was the Hokage and he was sworn to protect Konoha even if it should kill him. And that was exactly what he intended to do. He didn't regret his upcoming death. He was an old man and this presented him with a way to atone for all his mistakes.

He gathered the necessary chakra and ran his fingers through the required handseals.

"Shiki Fuujin," he announced. He could feel the presence of Death appearing behind his back. He glanced over his shoulder to behold the truly terrifying apparition. The only thought running through his head was that indeed he had never seen anything creepier, and that included Orochimaru.

?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?

Kurotsuchi Mayuri was annoyed. He had been in the middle of a sensitive experiment concerning a captive Quincy when he felt a strange pull and before he could blink, he found himself in a strange place among strange people, who simply didn't understand the value of true science. Didn't they care that he had a specimen on the operation table, his intestines half out and it might die on him before he could finish gathering all the data? He simply couldn't trust the simpleton Nemu to do it all right. Honestly, why did he even create her when she was so completely useless? So he had a good reason to be annoyed and when Captain Kurotsuchi was annoyed, somebody suffered. So who would suffer his wrath first?

He took a closer look at the present assembly. And then he grinned. They might have seen like a boring, ignorant lot at the first glance, but closer observation revealed that it wasn't so. The one furthest from him was in someone else's body, his soul partially merged with its previous occupant's. That was something he hadn't seen before. And not to mention the various chemicals his body was saturated with. He was sure some of them he never heard about before.

Then there were the other two. They were dead souls in artificial bodies, but it was nothing like the gigai he was familiar with. And weren't there living souls in their bodies as well? And how did two dead souls get into the Living World without him hearing abut it? Oh, and were they controlled by the first man? Now that was something that deserved his attention.

The fourth one would have been a completely uninteresting old man, if it wasn't for the fact that he was the one who got him there, and he used neither the Senkaimon nor the Garganta in the process. Such knowledge was something he wanted for himself. Just imagine the possibilities... Oh yes, this was definitely worth the trouble. Forget about the Quincy, there were still several more left in the world and he could always obtain a new specimen. The foursome in front of him presented an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

"Nemu!" he called for his lieutant/daughter/slave, before he realized she wasn't there. "Useless whore," he grumbled. "Do I have to do everything myself?" He walked over to the man in the back and grabbed him. Then he was flung back thanks to a fist to his stomach. He bounced off the barrier that didn't look like any Kidou he was familiar with. The man in the stolen body was now facing him, his hands clasped in a strange position.

"Who are you?" Orochimaru asked.

"Research specimens don't speak," Kurotsuchi admonished him.

"I'm not a research specimen," the leader of Otogakure spat, "but you'll make a fine one."

"Don't be ridiculous," Mayuri said getting up from the ground.

"I'm not!" Orochimaru shouted. A snake extended from his mouth and a sword appeared form the snake.

"Most curious," Kurotsuchi muttered observing intently. "I'm looking forward to analyzing it in my lab."

Orochimaru attacked. The blade of Kusanagi whistled through the air and hit the shinigami right in his midsection. It went right through. Kurotsuchi remained unharmed.

"What? Why?" the Snake Sannin was befuddled. "My Kusanagi can cut through everything!"

"It's not a zanpakutou and therefore it cannot harm me," Kurotsuchi explained. The Hebi Sannin smiled.

"Somebody who cannot be harmed? Great! You would be a priceless asset in my quest for immortality! Once I'll capture you..."

"I already told you, research subjects don't speak," Mayuri interrupted him. Then he moved with lightning speed and pushed Orochimaru's soul from his body. It looked startled for a moment, before taking the form of a giant white snake and attacking the closest usable body, which belonged to the Sandaime Hokage, who had been watching the proceedings unfold openmouthed. Seeing the immediate danger woke him from his stupor and he used his staff to bat the monster away. Before Orochimaru's spirit could attack again, he found himself bound in glowing chains that wouldn't budge no matter how hard he struggled.

"Stay here while I collect the others," Kurotsuchi commanded. He then grabbed the two dead souls and the living one. Taking the living one was against the law, but he never let such minuscule details stand in the way of his research. Especially if nobody found out.

"Nemu!" he called again. "You still aren't here? You're such a waste of space." He picked up the bound souls and returned to Seireitei.

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Konoha had won the battle, but for a terrible price. Their beloved Hokage had fallen. He was lying on the rooftop of the arena along with the enemies he had vanquished. All of them had their faces frozen in a grimace of terror. The people of the Hidden Leaf wondered, what so terrible had they seen in their last moments.

Orochimaru, in a lab deep inside the Shinigami Research and Development Institute, could have explained. That is, if he could still speak.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

...OO...OO...

Minato was feeling anxious. What was supposed to be the best day of his life had rapidly turned into a nightmare when that masked man, who he suspected of being Uchiha Madara, appeared, took his newborn son hostage and freed the Kyuubi from its prison. He had managed to save baby Naruto and drive Madara off, but he failed to kill him. He couldn't help but imagine what would that relic do once he came back and it would have made him shake in fear, if he wasn't already beyond that point.

And now he was preparing to summon the Shinigami in a last-ditch effort to prevent a complete disaster. He couldn't help but remember an old saying: All good and bad things come in groups of three. Today it had been first Madara and then the Kyuubi. He could only hope he wasn't going to summon something even worse.

_Here I go,_ he thought. His hands quickly formed the necessary seals:

_Mi, I, Hitsuji, U, Inu, Ne, Tori, Uma, Mi._

The air behind him shimmered and he could feel a presence appearing. He looked over his shoulder and saw an ordinary-looking man in black kimono and white haori with a sword on his side wearing rather nerdy glasses.

_Well, he at least looks harmless._

...OO...OO...

Only long years of practice prevented Aizen Sousuke from showing any emotions on his face. Instead his expression was set on his default benign smile. Inside his emotions were churning. He really didn't appreciate being interrupted in the middle of devising his master plan to bring down the Gotei 13. And he also didn't like being dragged anywhere without his consent. But he was a patient man. He could wait before extracting his revenge. The delay would make it that much sweeter.

He surveyed his surroundings to discern what was going on. In front of him stood the man who had apparently summoned him. And behind him... he had a hard time not to let his excitement show. There was a spiritual being of immense power, destroying everything in its path, shrugging off attacks like they were nothing. Aizen felt his mouth water. Now if he had this in his army when he attacked Seireitei... it wouldn't be quite enough to grant him victory, but it would occupy several captains and do a lot of damage. And maybe he'd find a way to harness its power better or even duplicate some of the effects. Oh, the things he could do given enough research time.

Yes, it was decided. He was taking this creature to his new hideout in Hueco Mundo. Now how to do it? It probably wouldn't want to go. But if he found something he could use to lure it into the Garganta... yes, that sounded like a plan. The bunch of mortals trying to stop it seemed usable.

He looked at his summoner. What should he do about him? Well, he didn't go so long undiscovered by leaving witnesses.

...OO...OO...

It was a sad day in Konoha. First the Kyuubi attacked and then their Hokage died. The village was saved, but no-one could ever figure out what happened to the demon. They lived in fear that it would return.

...OO...OO...

In Hueco Mundo, Aizen allowed himself a self-satisfied smile. It took a lot of time, effort and minions and he had to rebuild Las Noches twice, but the results were well worth it. The power of the Nine-Tailed Kitsune was finally his. With it, he could speed up his plans. Yes, the pathetic shinigami won't be able to stand up to him.

The halls of the palace shook with maniacal laughter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

*=-.-=*=-.-=*=-.-=*=-.-=*=-.-=*=-.-=*=-.-=*=-.-=*=-.-=*

The giant monster was nearing Konoha. The shinobi protecting their homes fought valiantly, but they were nothing compared to its might. The Kitsune swatted them away like they were nothing more than flies. Minato saw that all. He cursed Madara for letting the beast out and himself for taking so long in defeating the masked man. Their losses were already high and they were growing with every passing second. He had to do something soon. He knew what and he didn't like it one bit, but it was their only chance. He took a deep breath and began.

Nine handseals were all it took to summon the God of Death. He could clearly feel its presence appearing behind him. He turned around to look at it.

His first impression was that he was huge. If six men stood on each other's shoulders, they might be able to barely reach the top of his head. He was dressed all in black, with half of his chest left bare, he wore a strange hat on his head and he held two dangerously-looking great axes in his hands. So far so good. But the expression on his face suggested he wasn't all too bright. This impression was further reaffirmed when the giant blinked stupidly and asked:

"Huh?"

_Stupid untested jutsu, _the Hokage thought. _Just what did I summon? But what now? Should I dismiss this one and try to summon again? What if I get something even worse? But, he looks strong. He might do for a good distraction while I try something else._

"Where am I?" Jidanbou asked scratching his head. It snapped Minato from his musings.

"In Konoha," he answered.

"Huh?" the giant blinked stupidly again. "Is it in Rukongai?"

"Where?" Now it was Minato's turn to blink.

"You don't know?" The incredulous stare was almost enough to make the young Hokage feel like an idiot. Almost. He had to do with the village council regularly, so he was used to worse.

"It doesn't matter," he shrugged. "Look, we have a problem here."

"Problem?" Jidanbou startled. "What problem?"

"There's Kyuubi no Kitsune trying to kill us."

"Never heard about it," the huge man shook his head.

"It's that monster over there," the young Hokage pointed.

"Oh, that one." The gatekeeper looked like he noticed it only now. "Looks dangerous."

"It's trying to get into our village and kill everybody there."

"It's trying to get through a gate?" Jidanbou inquired.

"Yes," Minato confirmed.

"Jidanbou is the gate guardian. Jidanbou doesn't let anything get through the gate." He scowled threateningly and moved to intercept the fox.

Kyuubi looked up from his latest victim when it noticed the giant man approaching. He looked stronger than the other worms in this pathetic little mudhole. Maybe he'd even provide a worthy challenge. It quickly swallowed one unfortunate ninja and jogged to meet the shinigami.

"You shall not pass!" Jidanbou declared loudly. "I'll stop you here with my axe!" And he hit the demon the hardest he could. Kyuubi growled. The damned man actually cut through its skin, but the wound was already healing. Jidanbou laughed.

"You could withstand my first strike? Good! You won't withstand the second!" He swung the axe with all his might. The Kyuubi was knocked down and wailed in pain.

"_**You worrrrrrrrm," **_the beast growled.

"You can still move?" Jidanbou grinned. "I didn't have so much fun in over a century! Now behold my Ten Strikes of Death!" He lifted his axe and swung.

"One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Six! Five! Six! Seven! Six! Seven! Seven! Four! Five! Six! Ten!"

"_**Done already?" **_Kyuubi drawled in a bored tone. _**"Than let me show you my nine tails of doom!" **_He stood up and swung the first of his tails.

"_**One! Two**__**! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine!"**_ Every strike fell on the giant with increasing vengeance. Jidanbou couldn't hold against it. The last sent him flying right back to Soul Society.

"_**Pathetic mortals!"**_ the Kitsune gloated. _**"Was that the best you could summon? It was nothing before my might! Now I'm going to punish you for your impudence! This is the end of you!"**_

Kyuubi turned to march on Konoha again, only to find out that Minato used his distraction to try summoning the Shinigami again. And this time he succeeded in calling the one he wanted. And the rest is history.


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N.:** On request of puffdadder.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Now behold, Orochimaru, a jutsu you've never seen before," the Sandaime spoke in a menacing tone.

"I'm interested," the Snake spoke mockingly. "Do your best, old man." There wasn't a single hint of worry in his voice. He was confident that he could deal with anything his old sensei would dish out. He watched intently as the old Hokage performed the handseals.

_Mi, I, Hitsuji, U, Inu__, Ne, Tori, Uma, Mi._

The air shifted and the Shinigami appeared behind Sarutobi. From Orochimaru's perspective, nothing happened.

"So what's the big deal?" he smirked. "It looks like nothing happened." The next moment a slap landed on his face. _What the hell? _He thought. He didn't see where did it come from.

"Who do you call nothing?" an angry voice asked. He blinked. There in front of him stood a short blond black-clad girl with pigtails, holding a sandal in her hand. Where did she come from? The barrier his Sound Four had erected was intact.

"I asked you something!" the midget demanded. Orochimaru felt suddenly angry. He was the Snake Sannin, the strongest of the Legendary Three (at least in his mind) and leader of Otogakure. That little brat had no right to demand anything of him. He punched her. Or rather he punched the air where she used to be a moment before. He barely registered that she was moving when he found her sandal in his face again.

"And what was that supposed to mean?" she scowled. Orochimaru blinked. How did she move so fast? Even he couldn't match her speed.

"I don't want to interrupt anything, but I summoned you here for a reason," Sarutobi said. The next moment he was slapped in the face with Hiyori's sandal.

"So it was you who called me here, old fart?" He nodded. "I hate old farts like you." The Sandaime was confused. Was this really the Shinigami the Yondaime had summoned or did he do something wrong?

"The jutsu didn't work quite like you wanted, did it?" his traitorous student echoed his thoughts.

"You shut up!" Hiyori kicked him in the face and sent him flying. He hit the barrier and his body caught on fire. He quickly shed his burning skin and reemerged unharmed.

"What the hell was that?" Hiyori asked.

"That's my power," Orochimaru answered.

"I hate freaks like you," she muttered.

"I'm immortal now. Nothing can kill me," the Snake Sannin boasted.

"Nothing?" Hiyori asked skeptically. "Let's see about that." She drew her zanpakutou and attacked. Two seconds later she was holding Orochimaru's soul by its neck. "Ha! I knew you weren't immortal!"

"What? Why? This can't be happening! I'm immortal!" the soul wailed.

"Shut up!" the shinigami ordered and slammed the hilt of her zanpakutou to his forehead. Orochimaru's soul disappeared. "So much for you," Hiyori muttered. "And you!" she pointed at Sarutobi. "How do I get back?"

"Huh?"

"You called me here and don't know how to send me back?" She kicked him.


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N.:** On request from aznphoenix95.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Bleach nor Naruto.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

The Kyuubi was coming closer. It was a force of Nature that couldn't be stopped. Nothing the brave Konoha shinobi threw into its path managed to even slow it down; it paused only when it was chewing on a particularly juicy group of unlucky chuunin. The Yondaime observed it from his position atop Gamabunta's head. The situation was indeed looking bleak for Konoha. The only thing he could do was to counter the attacking force with an even greater one. And there weren't many beings in existence more powerful than the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Luckily he knew the summoning jutsu for one.

Nine handseals later he sensed the suffocating presence of the God of Death appearing behind him. Somehow it felt even more oppressive than the demon's. He was momentarily stunned.

"What's the meaning of this?" and old, raspy voice spoke. It sounded like the Shinigami wasn't happy. Well, it wasn't that great surprise, but it certainly complicated things. He slowly turned around to face the terrifying entity behind him.

His first impression was that the Shinigami looked appropriate. He aw an old, bald man with a long white beard, dressed in black with a white overcoat. His wrinkled hands were crossed atop a crooked wooden cane and his weathered face was locked in a scowl, with his eyes closed.

"Forgive me my audacity, but we are in dire need of your help, Shinigami-sama," Minato spoke. The old man opened his eyes. It made Minato want to cower in fear, but he was the Hokage, so he suppressed the urge.

"And what is so urgent that you called me here?" the ancient man asked.

"That is," Minato pointed at the Kyuubi. Yamamoto turned the direction and squinted. His eyes weren't what they used to be anymore, but wearing glasses would ruin his image. The supreme commander of a power-oriented organization such as Gotei 13 couldn't afford to show any sign of physical weakness. It was much better to just hide the fact that he was terribly near-sighted and had to constantly squint. But he could just make a huge orange shape steadily moving in their direction. He concentrated on its reiatsu. It was unlike anything he'd felt before, but it was very strong and foul. Not a Hollow, but definitely something evil. Well, it had been quite some time since he had to fight. He threw away his haori and removed his kosode. He was oblivious to the young Hokage watching him like he'd just grown a second head. He dissolved his cane and unsheathed his zanpakutou.

"Reduce all creation so smoldering ash, Ryuujin Jakka!" he commanded. Immediately he was enveloped in bright flames. He thought he could hear a pained yelp, but it was almost drowned in the sound of the flames. He paid it no attention and attacked the monster in front of him.

The battle was long and drawn, and difficult for the old general. The Kyuubi had the same color as the flames and was hard to spot in the raging inferno. Many of his attacks went wide before he managed to nail it down. In the end the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox was completely destroyed. Yamamoto sighed and sheathed his sword. It had been a really good workout. He didn't have one such as this one since... ah... when was it? His memory wasn't what it used to be anymore.

He let the flames die down and took a look around. The landscape around him was a charred, black wasteland. That was strange. Wasn't there a forest and a town before? Where did it go? He would swear it should be where the smoking crater under the cliff was. But his memory didn't always serve him well. And where was the guy who had summoned him here? He couldn't see him anywhere too. And now that he thought about it, there was an awful lot of spirits around here. He was sure there weren't so many before. The monster had been really heinous, killing all of them in its last fight. It was really regretful, but they would have died sooner or later anyway. Human lives were just too short and fragile. This way they'd move through the cycle of reincarnation faster. Somebody would have to come here and perform Konsou on them, lest they'd become a feast for the Hollows. But such task was below the dignity of the general. He made a mental note to relay the orders to his underlings.

He opened the Senkaimon and returned to the Soul Society. He was immediately welcomed with Sasakibe-fukutaichou.

"Sotaichou-sama!" the younger man exclaimed. "We were so worried when you suddenly disappeared. Where have you been?"

_Where, indeed? _That was a good question. But he couldn't show that he didn't know the answer. It would ruin his image of omniscience.

"I had to take care of an urgent matter," Yamamoto answered in a tone that told his vice-captain to stop asking any more questions.

"Yes, sir. If I may inquire, what was the emergency?" Sasakibe failed to take the hint. Yamamoto suppressed the urge to sigh. It was getting increasingly hard to come up with the correct answers to all the questions.

"I had to take out a monster."

"A Menos Grande?"

"Yes." There was no reason to admit he had no idea what did he fight. He was supposed to be all-knowing, after all.

"Do you need anything?" Sasakibe asked.

"No." Yamamoto had the vague feeling that he was forgetting something, but dismissed it. If it was really important, he'd hear about it again. And if not, well, then it wasn't important to begin with. One had to learn to straighten his priorities when commanding the shinigami. And his first priority was terrifying his subordinates into doing everything else. That was all there was to it. Really.


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N.:** So another chapter is finally here and this time it's someone many people have been asking about. Also, I'm not a native EWnglish speaker, as some of you might have noticed, and I don't know how to write an accent propperly, so I decided not to use it. Please don't flame me for it.

P.S.: Thanks for making this my third story with over a hundred reviews.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

They had a problem. A big problem. The Kyuubi was coming closer and nobody had any idea what to do about it. All they could do was stall for time, hope they weren't in the path of one of its tails and pray that they young Hokage had some solution.

Namikaze Minato was praying too. He knew of a technique that should be able to help, but he had never tried performing it before. And even the theory behind it was untested, so all bets were off on what the jutsu was going to do. It was something only a complete lunatic would try to use. A lunatic or somebody who had nothing to lose.

'_Here goes nothing,' _he thought. His hands flew through the seals, his chakra molded into the appropriate shape. Soon, he felt the presence of the Death God appearing at his back. He turned around to see what did he summon.

He was surprised that the Shinigami looked so... normal. Just a young, white-haired man in a black kimono with a white coat, not unlike his own. Then he took a better notice of the man's face. It reminded him of both the kitsune rampaging next to them and some members of the village council. Definitely a dangerous one.

"My, my," the Shinigami spoke, his voice bored. "You seem to 'ave a problem 'ere."

'_Tell me something I didn't know,' _Minato thought.

"What is that thing, anyway?"

"The Kyuubi."

"Ne'er heard o' it," the silver-haired man shook his head.

"It's the most powerful of the Bijuu," the Hokage explained. How comes the Shinigami didn't know it? Or were even such powerful being beneath his notice? Minato doubted it.

"Really? It does seem kinda strong," Ichimaru observed in a disinterested tone.

"I summoned you here to help me deal with it." _'And I hope I summoned the correct being,' _he added mentally. He was beginning to have doubts.

"So it was you who interrupted my date?" Minato swallowed. It sounded the God of Death was annoyed. That wasn't a part of the plan.

"Please, Shinigami-sama, we need your help."

"Shinigami-sama sounds good, but it still doesn't make up for the interrupted date," Gin stated.

"It's something only you can do," Minato pleaded. He hated to plead, but he was willing to make an exception for a god. If that guy was really a god, but it wasn't like he had time for plan B now. The Kyuubi was getting closer to them.

"Hmmm," Ichimaru scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I like to see ya beg, but that still doesn't make up for the ruined date."

"I'm terribly sorry, Shinigami-sama, but I wouldn't have called of you if we weren't in dire need of your vast powers."

"Nice try, but flattery will get you nowhere," Gin commented. Minato was ready to tear out his hair in exasperation. The Kyuubi was approaching them quickly, probably recognizing them as the most important target. His shinobi were dying by the dozens in futile attempts to delay it and the Death God was being difficult. He wanted to throttle him, but his common sense labeled it as a very bad idea. He decided to try one last strategy.

"Look," he said, "the sooner you finish here the sooner you can get back to your date."

"Hmm," Ichimaru cocked his head, "I suppose ye'r right. And all the dead are just making more work for me."

He withdrew his zanpakutou. By that time the Kyuubi was almost upon them.

"_**What do you want to accomplish with the knife, worm?" **_the beast asked. _**"I'm the most powerful of all the demons."**_

"Most powerful of demons, you say?" Ichimaru eyed him critically. "Then let's see how you'd like this. Bankai. God-killing spear."

"_**Fancy name, but nothing happened," **_Kyuubi commented.

"Than what about now?" Gin asked. The monster roared in pain and outrage. There was a hole through its body and it had no idea when did it happen. He was positive it hadn't been there just a second ago. But such an injury couldn't stop him. The wound was already closing.

"_**You bag of filth! I'm going to obliterate you for that."**_

"Persistent, aren't you," Ichimaru commented. "Than let's see how you'll deal with this. Kill, Kamishini no Yari." Another hole suddenly appeared in Kyuubi's body, but this one didn't heal. It continued to spread.

"_**What's going on?" **_the monster screamed.

"That's my power," Ichimaru answered, but the kitsune didn't hear him. It disappeared with a poof. Minato stared slack-jawed.

"Well, that being done, can I finally get back before my date runs off on me?"


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N.:** Because you have been nice and reviewed a lot, I bring you another chapter of this story. And it's even someone several readers were asking for. So read and enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

"Well, Sarutobi-sensei, you have grown old," Orochimaru taunted. "It's hard for you to keep your arms from shaking with exhaustion, isn't it, and your chakra is running low. You've already lost this fight. Or is there still something you can do? Please show me, I'll relish to crush all your hopes and show you how far I have surpassed you."

The elderly Hokage cursed inwardly. What his traitorous student said was unfortunately the truth. He was old and barely holding his own in this fight. And that snake had summoned his predecessors and turned them into his mindless, indestructible slaves. If the battle should continue any longer, Hiruzen was sure to lose, which would probably mean the defeat of Konoha. And he couldn't allow that. But he used to be known as the God of Shinobi for a reason. He was going to show his wayward student that the Professor always knew something the pupils didn't.

"Well, Orochimaru," he spoke, "you came far, but this is as far as you will go. Allow me to show you a jutsu you've never seen before."

"Now I'm interested," the Snake Sannin replied. "Bring it on, old man."

"As you wish." The Hokage clasped his hands together in a sequence of seals.

_Mi, I, Hitsuji, U, Inu, Ne, Tori, Uma, Mi._

He felt the technique take effect. The air around them cooled with the presence of death. Sarutobi looked over his shoulder to see how did the God of Death look. He blinked when he couldn't see anything. Then he looked down.

"Oh, Sarutobi-sensei," Orochimaru's laughing voice reached his ears. "Is that the best you can do? Summon a puny child?" There was a moment of silence, during which the temperature dropped rapidly. Their breaths became visible and frost covered the ground. Then:

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CHILD?"

.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.

Sarutobi sighed as he surveyed his surroundings. The battle was over now. Orochimaru's body was lying on the ground in frozen pieces and the forms of the two resurrected Hokage melted away, revealing the bodies of two Sound genin. The Sound Four were still standing around, but their bodies were now fully encased in ice, their dead eyes staring blankly. The being he had summoned had been very angry.

He brushed the snow off his armor. It was so cold there. He was sure he had some serious frostbite, but there was no time to worry about it now. He had to make sure his village would withstand today's invasion. He quickly assessed the situation.

Konoha was still standing, but it was now covered in ice and snow, a rare sight in these areas. In the white winter wonderland the Leaf Shinobi were rounding up the last resisting Sound invaders. Most of the ninja from Sand either dropped down shivering or ran as fast as their legs would carry them. Cold was something life in the hot Wind Country didn't prepare them for. Even the infamous desert nights couldn't compare to this arctic winter. The Konoha forces had trouble too, but not as bad, which gave them the decisive advantage.

Sarutobi allowed himself a small smile. Everything worked out, even if the Shiki Fuujin didn't work the way it was supposed to. In hindsight, this was even better. Still, he couldn't help but wonder just what did he summon.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note:** For whatever readers still didn't abandon me, here I present another chapter. It took half a year, but I did update. The format is different on this own, but I hope you will find it enjoyable anyway.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own neither Bleach nor Naruto.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Kurosaki Ichigo sighed in relief as he returned to his body. Finally, the latest crisis was over. Maybe he'd finally have the time to rest before the next crisis arose. It was always something. First Rukia losing her powers. Then Aizen's ploy. The Bounts. The Valley of Screams. The Kasumi-ouji conspiracy. Muramasa and the rogue zanpakutou spirits. The stolen King's Seal. Inaba and his army of reigai. The Hollow messing everybody's memory. The Sinners from Hell. And every single time the Soul Society was unable to deal with it on their own and required his help. And he barely got a thank you for it. He was really, really getting tired of it. He really, really hoped that he'd at least get the chance to rest properly before he'd be needed again.

But as soon as he thought it, he felt the familiar sensation of being forced out of his body followed with the unfamiliar sensation of being dragged into another dimension. It was completely different from both the Senkaimon and the Garganta. _Just my luck, _Ichigo thought as he let the tides grab him. _I should know better than to wish for some quiet. _He resigned himself to being dragged into another adventure. He wondered what he'd have to save the world from this time.

He landed in a completely unfamiliar place. And not unfamiliar as in 'I haven't visited this part of the country yet.' He could immediately tell that this wasn't the Human World he knew. It wasn't Soul Society either. It wasn't Hueco Mundo. It wasn't Hell. It wasn't the Valley of Screams. It wasn't Dangai. It wasn't anything familiar. It did resemble the Living World the closest, but he was sure it wasn't the world he knew.

He was absolutely sure there weren't any giant fox demons with multiple tails in his world. Some Hollows could look weird, but that thing in front of him wasn't a Hollow. Though it was as bloodthirsty as them, it had no mask, no hole and its reiatsu felt all wrong even to Ichigo's crappy senses.

He let his eyes wander around for a bit. It was definitely an unfamiliar landscape. And there was a battle going on. And in front of him stood a man, the one who undoubtedly summoned him. He wanted him to take care of their problem, Ichigo just knew. He grimaced. Of course every time he visited a new place, there would be some trouble and people would need his help. It was practically a law of nature. It pissed him off. Fortunately, there was something to take his anger out on. Namely the giant man-eating demon. That was good. He loved some simple butt-kicking. He hated the 'figure out who's behind it part' that usually preceded it. Fortunately this time there was no need for it. Kurosaki chuckled darkly. This was going to be very stress-relieving.

"Bankai! Getsuga Tenshou!"

In the end, the fight was very satisfying. The fox thingy had been tough. Almost as tough as Aizen in the sense that it refused to die no matter what he hit it with. Ichigo was pushed to his limits and had to whip out his mask to be able to deal with it. But after a very enjoyable fight that left him nearly drained, the monster was finally destroyed. Ichigo sighed in relief. He could finally go home and relax. But how should he get home from here, when he didn't even know where he was?

"Hey, man!" he shouted at the summoner, who watched him in stunned disbelief. "Send me home!" The man just stared at him blankly. "You mean you can't? Damn, I'm stuck here!" He should have known that this wouldn't be so simple.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note:** Another chapter so soon after the last one? Yes, I'm really working on this story. Though I can't tell when the next chapter would be up.

**Disclaimer:** Idon't own Bleach and I don't own Naruto. I write theis purely for fun.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Maito Gai stared awestruck as he saw what was going on in the box surrounding the Hokage and Orochimaru. He was back again! His idol appeared again! He couldn't believe it! He would have never thought he would ever see him again, but there he was, just like he remembered him! Teary eyed, he remembered when he had seen the man first.

It had been on the terrible night when the Kyuubi had attacked Konoha. Maito Gai had been just a freshly-promoted chuunin back then and had been supposed to stay with the reserves, but he couldn't just stay back when the others were fighting and dying. He had sneaked to the frontlines to help his comrades fend off the best. He had arrived there shortly before the Yondaime did. Thad had given him the perfect view of the following events.

The Yondaime made several handseals and activated a jutsu. It was some kind of summoning, because a spectral figure appeared behind the Hokage. Nobody else seemed to react to it. Maito Gai understood that he was the only one who could see it. He never quite understood why. He was just glad that he did and observed the proceedings carefully.

The spectral figure had seemed a bit confused at first, looking around in surprise. Then it noticed the Kyuubi. It looked at it in wonder for a while, and then his face widened in a most youthful grin. He had then begun dancing, right in front of the rampaging beast. Maito Gai had never seen anything so youthful before. The man had been completely unafraid. The light emitted by the demon had reflected off his bald head, making it shine like an evening sun. It was then when he had decided to become as youthful as that man. And that had been before the fight started. That had been even more spectacular. The one spectral man had completely demolished the demon.

Ever since then, he had devoted his life to emulating him. He trained to become just as strong. He tried to repeat his youthful dance, but he couldn't remember the moves. He tried to emulate the shining sunset, but he could never match him. And now he saw his idol again. He was just as fabulous as ever. Maito Gai watched in reverent silence, not wanting to miss anything he would do.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Madarame Ikkaku was annoyed. He had been in the middle of a very enjoyable spar with Yumichika when he had suddenly felt a familiar pull and soon he found himself in this miserable ditch again. He recognized this place well. He had been here only once before, it had been night and everything around had been on fire, but that cliff was pretty unique. He had no idea where this place was, but he was getting fed up with it. Seriously, what it was with the people here, always dragging him here? And always doing it just when he had been enjoying himself? At least the last time there had been that huge monster to fight. He grinned at the memory. Yes, that had been quite a fight. But he had still smacked that asshole who had dragged him there so he'd remember not to do it again. But he might have overdone a bit because that guy didn't get back up. But if he couldn't stand even such light smack, he was a pansy. Or he had smacked him with his unsheathed zanpakutou, he couldn't remember. But today? What did they offer him today in compensation for interrupting his fun? Some sickly guy who could compete with Kurotsuchi in the creepiness department? That just wasn't enough. He was going to teach them that they shouldn't mess with him.

Orochimaru never stood a chance.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own neither Bleach nor Naruto. Too bad.**

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Orochimaru was grinning. And though the Sandaime was loath to admit it, he had a good reason for it. He had summoned the souls of his predecessors and made them his puppets. And no matter how hard the aging Hokage fought, he couldn't defeat the two undead rulers of Konoha and their snaky master. But he wasn't known as the Professor for nothing. He still had some tricks up his sleeve. He was going to wipe that smirk right off Orochimaru's face.

Orochimaru looked more interested than disturbed when Sarutobi announced he was going to show him a jutsu he had never seen before. It was exactly the reaction the Third had hoped to: Orochimaru underestimated him. He was going to rue it soon. Very soon. The God of Death was already materializing behind his back. He looked over his shoulder, interested in how did the Shinigami look like.

He didn't know what he should have been expecting, but a petite girl wasn't it. Granted, she was stylishly dressed in black and had a sword, but she looked completely harmless. Nothing like a fearsome deity. He couldn't stop himself and had to comment on it.

"Kukukukukuku," Orochimaru laughed. "It looks like your technique didn't work."

The girl scowled. Suddenly she didn't look so harmless anymore. "Of course I am a shinigami," she said. Then she took out a paper, some crayons and began an explanation. Her words were completely lost on the audience. They might have caught something about Soul Society and Living World and balance, but that barely touched their minds. They were fully occupied by her drawings. As seasoned shinobi, they had seen many horrible things, but nothing quite like this. Were these bunnies? What had bunnies to do with death? And those? Were they too bunnies? They didn't have bunny ears. But they looked just like the bunnies, if they were indeed bunnies. They looked more like some alien abomination.

Orochimaru was the one who commented on that. That was a grave mistake. The girl didn't take lightly to her artwork being insulted. Sarutobi didn't see what she did to Orochimaru, it had happened too fast. But five seconds later his traitorous student was lying on the ground, bound in glowing rope, his face adorned by a drawn-on moustache and the strange girl was kneeling in front of him, showing her paintings into his face. In that moment, the Sandaime could almost pity him. Almost. The Snake Sannin fully deserved whatever torture she could inflict on him.

Then she concluded her explanation, not caring that neither of her audience understood a bit of it, grabbed the souls of the two deceased Hokages and dragged them off to the afterlife.

Orochimaru sighed as the restraints around his body disappeared. She was finally gone. It wasn't a second too soon. He was sure his mind couldn't take any more of it. But just as he was about to pass out with relief, he heard footsteps. His head jerked up. His old sensei was slowly walking to him, looking as menacing as ever. He seemed mostly unaffected by the mental torture. Well, he hadn't been exposed to such a high dose. Seeing this, the ruler of Oto made a quick assessment of his situation and then did the only thing he could think of: he fled. He ran not caring what effect it would have on his troops, which began retreating too, or that his underlings would see him with the drawn-on moustache. He could just kill all the witnesses later.

He was determined not to come anywhere near Konoha as long as Sarutobi lived. If he knew such a fearsome technique, he was undefeatable. He also resolved to put even more effort into his quest for immortality, not that he wasn't already giving it his all. But he had acquired new motivation today. If all Death Gods were like this, he didn't want to see any of them again. Ever.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own neither Naruto nor Bleach.  
**

**Summoning the Shinigami**

The Kyuubi was drawing near. Minato watched it with a heavy heart. He cursed Uchiha Madara for letting it out of its seal and sending it on a rampage in Konoha. He wished the wretched relic hadn't escaped. There were so many things he wanted to do to him. But now was no time to contemplate them. He had to do something about the giant kitsune. Fortunately he had an idea how to deal with it. Unfortunately it was an untested jutsu and he couldn't be sure how would it work.

A string of handseals later, he could feel a shift in the air as the Shinigami materialized behind him. He glanced over his shoulder, curious how did the God of Death look like. And blinked. He seriously hadn't been expecting this. There stood a young man, more a boy than a man, rather short, with droopy eyes and looking like a strong wind would knock him over.

"Huh?" the stranger said, looking around. "Where am I?" Then he noticed the Kyuubi and paled. "What's that thing?"

"The Kyuubi," Minato answered. "Could you please stop it?"

"Me?" The youngster paled even more and began shaking.

"Are you the Shinigami or not?"

"Well, I am, a shinigami, but I am a healer. If you want somebody to deal with that," he pointed at the Kyuubi, "you'd need a fighter and a powerful one. A lieutenant or a captain."

"There are more shinigami?" the Hokage asked.

"Of course," the boy nodded. "Or did you think all the work could be done by one person? There are thirteen divisions. I'm Yamada Hanatarou from the Fourth."

"Pleased to meet you," Minato said automatically, despite not being entirely pleased to have summoned Hanatarou. The question was what to do now. The jutsu took surprisingly little chakra, so he could try it again. Maybe this time he'd be luckier and summon somebody who could deal with the Kyuubi. But he couldn't help but wonder how big the Thirteen Divisions were and how many of its members were capable of the required feat. Somehow he thought that the chances of summoning one weren't too high. But it wasn't like he had a better plan.

He performed the summoning again. And again he got a boy that had yet to become a man. At least this one didn't look so wimpy. But when he noticed the Kyuubi, he paled the same as Hanatarou.

"Uh oh," he said. "I'd better call reinforcements." He quickly searched his robes for something, but it soon became apparent that whatever he was looking for wasn't there. "It looks like my Hell Butterfly flew off again," he said with embarrassment. "And I can't do anything about it on my own."

Minato sighed, already running through handseals. He hoped the third time would be the charm.

Two people appeared. That was a bit of a surprise. But when he looked closely, he saw that they were holding each other by the throat and refused to let go. So he had summoned one and the other was dragged with him.

"Guys?" he asked.

"Who do you call a guy?" the shorter of them shouted, letting go of the big one. Now Minato could see that it was actually a girl.

"Ha!" the bigger one, undoubtedly a guy, exclaimed. "Even he thinks you're ugly!"

"What did you say, you ape?" the girl turned to him.

"Kotetsu Kiyone and Kotsubaki Sentarou, Third Seats of the Thirteenth Division," Hanatarou introduced them. "They are good, but they fight only each other."

"I noticed," the Hokage muttered. "Hey!" he shouted. "Can you kill that big red thing before you kill each other?"

"I'm going to kill it!" Sentarou shouted.

"No, I'm going to kill it!" Kiyone corrected.

"Don't copy me, booger girl!"

"You're copying me!" And then they were trying to strangle each other again. The chances that they would actually try to fight the Kyuubi were slim. Minato sighed in resignation and performed the jutsu again, despite beginning to feel the strain.

The man that appeared this time was big and muscular. That was easy to see because half of his shirt was missing. When he saw the rampaging demon, he scowled at it and marched towards it confidently.

"This is the end of the line for you, foolish monster!" he announced boastfully. "Because I, Third Seat of the Eighth Division, Enjouji Tatsufusa, am here! You picked the wrong place to attack! The moment I appeared here, this path became a dead end for your kind!" Then he drew his sword and started waving it around really fast. It looked impressive at first glance, but Minato could spot several glaring openings. Namely wherever the spinning blade currently wasn't.

"Scared?" Tatsufusa asked interrupting his Blade Avalanche technique for a moment. Kyuubi ignored him and chewed on a Konoha chuunin absentmindedly. "That's okay. Since that great technique of mine has never lost to anything..."

In that moment. Kyuubi waved one of his tails casually, still not even glancing in Tatsufusa's direction. The man was hit full force and was thrown somewhere into the burning forest. He didn't come out again. Minato shook his head in disbelief. This summoning wasn't helping, but he still couldn't come up with a better plan.

Once again he performed the sequence of handseals. He hoped that this time he finally would get one of the strong ones. He was beginning to feel the strain. This time a tall woman appeared. Her hair was grey despite her face being young.

"Lieutenant Kotetsu!" Hanatarou exclaimed. Minato felt hope. Finally a lieutenant. "But she's a healer just like me," the boy added meekly.

Isane gulped when she saw the nine-tailed monster. She wasn't a very good fighter, but it was still her duty as a shinigami to deal with it. So she drew Itegumo and attacked the beast. Unfortunately she really wasn't a fighter and ended up defeated quickly.

"Sister!" Kiyone screamed, rushing to her side. "I'll help you!"

"No, I'll help you!" Sentarou yelled, running after the girl. Minato just sighed and performed the summoning again. He still had enough chakra, though he felt he was approaching his limit.

This time, a fat, balding man with lots of golden jewelry appeared.

"Lieutenant Oomaeda!" Hanatarou exclaimed happily. Minato allowed himself to feel a sliver of hope. Did he finally summon a fighter who could take on the Kyuubi? But then Oomaeda saw the Kyuubi, screamed like a girl and ran.

"Well," Hanatarou smiled sheepishly, "he's known to be a coward. Only his captain can force him to fight because she's scarier than any enemy." Now Minato really wanted to kill someone, but that would do nothing to solve his problem with the Kyuubi. So he gathered whatever chakra he had left and tried the summoning one last time.

Minato could immediately see that something was different when a man with long white hair in a long white coat appeared. There was another major difference between him and those he had summoned so far: This man radiated power. Minato was sure that this time he finally summoned somebody who could help them. It was about time, he was sure that he didn't have enough strength left to try again.

"Captain Ukitake!" Hanatarou smiled brightly.

"Captain!" the bickering duo exclaimed, stopped arguing for a moment, raced to the newcomer and then started bickering which one got there first.

"Captain Ukitake is among the strongest in Soul Society," Hanatarou explained. "He can defeat that thing in no time."

Sure to his words, Ukitake drew his sword and attacked the Kyuubi. The fox tried to smash him with its tails, but the captain did, Minato wasn't sure what, but it resulted in the kitsune being knocked to the ground. It roared in rage and leapt into attack again, only to be batted away effortlessly. Minato felt a surge of hope. The white-haired man was going to save them!

But then Ukitake suddenly paused, muttered something that sounded like 'not now' and doubled over coughing up blood. His two subordinates raced to him, arguing over who can get there first.

"What's going on?" the Hokage asked. He was sure that the captain hadn't been hit, so what was wrong with him?

"Captain Ukitake is ill," Hanatarou explained. "This sometimes happens. He's going to be like this for hours or even days."

"So we're screwed."

"Yes. Sorry."


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach and I don't own Naruto either. Everybody should get it because they;re reading this story here and not in an official magazine.**

**Summoning the Shinigami**

The situation was bad. Very bad, the Third Hokage mused. Konoha was being invaded and he was stuck inside a barrier fighting his wayward, twisted student. And he was losing. If it was just Orochimaru alone, he could have won, despite his old body slowing his down. But the snake had summoned his two predecessors and made them fight him. Sarutobi knew he couldn't win when it was three on one. But he couldn't give up either. And he was known as the Professor for a reason. It was time to play some of the aces in his sleeve. He briefly considered which one. He came to a decision quickly. Yes, that would be good. This technique had been enough to deal with the Kyuubi. It would be enough to deal with Orochimaru and his undead cohorts too. The Sandaime clasped his hands together in a series of handseals, in preparation to summon an unspeakable terror.

Less than a minute later, he was finished. He turned around to see what did he summon. First he saw small feet covered in white tabi and high heeled sandals. Then he saw two beautifully-shaped long legs. Then a black miniskirt. A thin waist. Two delicate feminine hands. He couldn't see any more of the newcomer because it was obscured by a hentai manga that would make Jiraiya blush. The old Hokage could barely close his eyes in time to prevent fainting from hentai overload, but still his face was deep red, his heart beat so fast that he feared it was going to burst out of his chest and blood was flowing from his nose freely. He wished he could wipe the sight from his mind, but it was impossible. It was etched deeply in his mind and he wasn't going to forget it until he died. Which probably wasn't going to take very long.

"Who dares to interrupt my reading time?" a deep, sexy voice asked. The tone it currently used would suit best a dominatrix. There was rustling of paper as the woman put down her manga. Sarutobi decided that it might be safe to open his eyes now. He found himself staring face to a pretty face framed by black hair. Though usually he would appreciate the sight, the thin line her delicate pink lips were forming and the dangerous glint in her blue eyes clearly visible even through her red-rimmed rectangular glasses told him that he better shouldn't. Even his nosebleed stopped.

"Was it you, old geezer?" she asked. Her tone sent shivers down his spine. He couldn't decide whether they were pleasant or not.

"Uh..." Sarutobi couldn't find his voice.

"Kukukukuku!" Orochimaru chuckled. "That wasn't a very good jutsu, summoning something that turns on you." The black-clad woman turned her attention to him. She walked to him with a determined gait. She stood two steps from Orochimaru, studying him intently. Then, without her expression or voice changing, she said:

"Sexy."

"What?" Orochimaru blinked in surprise. For the first time since the beginning of the battle he didn't seem sure of himself.

"You've been a bad boy," she elaborated. "You possessed somebody else's body. Naughty, naughty boy."

"Get away," Orochimaru said, a nervous tremble in his voice. Lisa ignored it.

"I like bad boys. You're coming with me," she stated. Orochimaru took a step back in shock.

"Hey, lady, you're not my type! I prefer..." he began, but she interrupted him.

"You're coming with me," she repeated sternly. Orochimaru backed again and commanded his two slaves to protect him. The two dead Hokages stood between them and the approaching madwoman. She stopped and studied them intently too. Then she pointed at the Shodai.

"You're coming with me too." Then she turned to the Nidaime. "Not sexy enough."

Sarutobi watched the proceedings with disbelief. What in the world did he just summon? It was supposed to be the Death God, not a female counterpart to Jiraiya. Where did it go wrong? Or did it? Whoever (or whatever) the woman was, she was definitely scaring Orochimaru.

Orochimaru meanwhile commanded his two puppets to attack and they obediently launched their strongest ninjutsu at her. She whipped out a sword. (Where did she keep it? Sarutobi wondered. She couldn't have possibly concealed something so big in her skimpy clothes. Or had he been so distracted that he had never noticed it?) She somehow evaded the two Hokages' attacks and sliced the First in half with her blade. He crumbled to dust, revealing the body of the Sound genin Orochimaru had used as the sacrifice for Edo Tensei. Then she turned to the Nidaime.

"That was a nice move," she said. "And on second thought, your tattoos and hair don't look too bad either. They give you a tough guy look. I'm taking you with me too." The Second tried to put up a fight, but she made a short work of him. Then she turned to Orochimaru. The Snake Sannin screamed like a girl (whose body he was occupying) and ran for dear life. Lisa gave pursuit. She was faster.

Sarutobi watched as she caught him and cut his soul out of the possessed body. Then she opened some kind of portal and disappeared in it along with her three captives. He wondered about the strange twists fate somehow took. A few minutes ago he had been willing to sacrifice himself and the souls of his predecessors to the eternal suffering in the Shinigami's stomach just so he could take Orochimaru with him. Now he stood here alive, dismissed and forgotten by whatever being he had summoned, while the Shodai, Nidaime and Orochimaru were off to spend a long sexy future with a beautiful woman. He smiled. It seemed like justice was done here. The two Hokages liked women. Orochimaru didn't.

He chuckled as he imagined what was going on in the girl's home. He should tell Jiraiya about it. And give him the manga the mysterious woman forgot here (after he had studied it thoroughly, of course. Or maybe he should only lend it). It should be enough inspiration for at least two Icha-Icha books. He couldn't wait to read them. He chuckled again. Orochimaru certainly hadn't planned that something good for Konoha might come out of his invasion.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's note:**You lost all hope, didn't you? Well, now this story is back, as some inspiration finally hit me. I make no guarantees about the next chapter.

**Disclaimer: I own neither Bleach nor Naruto. I didn't win a lottery jackpot, so I can't afford it.  
**

**Summoning the Shinigami**

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_This isn't what the God of Death is supposed to look like, _Sarutobi thought. When his traitorous student Orochimaru had attacked the village and proven himself unkillable thanks to some twisted body-possessing technique and raised his deceased predecessors to fight him, the aging Hokage realized that he had only one option if he wanted to defeat the snake. And so he had summoned the shinigami, despite knowing the price of the jutsu. But something went wrong. Instead of the magnificent, terrifying deity that was supposed to appear he got some bloke in a weird green coat, ridiculous striped hat and clogs just as stupid as Jiraiya wore. And let's not forget his pimp cane. He looked more like a door-to-door vendor than a god of anything.

"Kukukukuku," Orochimaru chuckled. "Is that all? And here I've been expecting some awesome jutsu and what did I get? Some random guy? You really are getting old, Sensei, to slip so badly." The worst thing was that the Third couldn't find it in himself to disagree with the traitorous Sannin's assessment of the situation.

The summoned guy walked forward and studied Orochimaru for a moment.

"I see you have trouble synchronizing with your possessed body," he spoke.

"What?" Orochimaru scowled. He hated it whenever somebody discovered his weakness.

"I can sell you something to help you," Urahara continued. "Here," he pulled something from his pocket, "each one of this pills will increase your synchronization rate with your body by fifty percent. And they are just 7000 kan each." Orochimaru just stared. To the Sandaime it was apparent that he's intrigued by the offer, but wary of the stranger. Urahara paid it no mind. He turned to the two revived Hokage. "Nice work," he commented, "but these fake bodies aren't quite up to par. I can sell you custom-made gigai that are perfectly life-like and allow them to use their special abilities to the max. I can even make ones that would enhance them. I can even make one for you so that you won't have to change bodies every now and then. And I'll even give you a discount, so it will be 200000 kan each. That's a bargain. You can't get better gigai anywhere, especially for this price."

This went on for quite a while. Eventually Orochimaru left, having forgotten about destroying Konoha in favor of playing with his new toys. Sarutobi chuckled when he remembered. His student had bought so much he'd have to sell the Sound Village to pay for everything. But Urahara-san had allowed him a 'very accommodating' installment schedule, which was guaranteed to keep the Snake Sannin in his debt for the rest of his very long life and possibly even beyond. It wasn't quite how he imagined Konoha to be saved, but at least it had worked. And he even got to keep his soul. Now if he could just figure out what to do with a hundred crates of Hollow repellent. What were Hollows anyway?


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's note:** Another chapter here. This one is a bit different. I hope it won't disappoint.**  
**

**WARNING: SPOILERS for the latest arc of Bleach.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor Bleach.  
**

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Things weren't looking good for Konoha, Sarutobi thought. They were currently being invaded by the joint forces of Hidden Sound and Hidden Sand and he was facing against his traitorous student and not faring very well. Orochimaru had completed his immortality research and was proving extremely hard to kill, which might have been caused by the Sandaime's high age rather than the Snake Sannin's skills. But the Hokage was known as the Professor for a reason and he could find a way even from this mess.

"So you're interested in learning all the jutsu?" he asked. "Well, Orochimaru, watch closely because I'm going to show you one you've never seen before."

"Kukukukuku," the leader of Otogakure chuckled, his yellow eyes shining with excitement. "I'm interested, Sarutobi-sensei."

_You asked for it, _the Third thought grimly as he clasped his hands together in a series of seals.

_Mi, I, Hitsuji, U, Inu, Ne, Tori, Uma, Mi._

The technique was complete. There was a moment of tense silence. Then...

"You've reached Soul Society," a mechanical voice announced attempting to sound cheerful and failing miserably. "Unfortunately we are unable to process your request because we are currently being invaded by the Vandenreich and losing the battle rather badly. Please call again at a later date and hope there are still any shinigami left to answer your request. I wish you a nice day."

There was a moment of stunned silence. Then...

"Kukukukuku!" Orochimaru laughed so hard he doubled over. "You're right, kukukukuku!" The pale man couldn't stay upright anymore and collapsed to the ground in throes of laughter. "I've never seen such crappy jutsu before! Kukuku!"

Sarutobi bashed his skull in with his Adamantine Staff while the Snake Sannin was too busy laughing to pay attention and hoped there were still enough shinigami left to carry his traitorous student's soul to Hell.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's note: **Sorry this took so long. Inspiration was low. But now I'm back again, using the new material Kishimoto offered.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I don't own Bleach. I write this purely for fun.**

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Orochimaru paused as he studied the masks hanging off the wall of the old Uzumaki shrine. _Find the mask of Shinigami, _he thought. _Easier said than done. Why couldn't it say which one is the correct one?_ He had seen the Shinigami once, but that had been years ago and he had been too distracted by the pain of his arms being ripped off to pay much attention to its face. So what could he remember? It looked scary. It had a long face. But that was true for all of the masks. It had a tanto in its mouth, but none of the masks did. So what else could he recall? It had a lot of hair. None of the masks had hair attached to it, so no help there. It had horns, didn't it? But how many? Two? Four? Did it really have horns? So what about its eyes? They were squinty, right? Did it have a beard or not? Suddenly he wasn't sure. And Sasuke was looking at him impatiently. He just couldn't admit he didn't know which mask was the correct one in front of his former student. He just picked one that looked like it might be the right one and hoped for the best.

"Let's go," he said, sounding completely confident despite not feeling that way. But it fooled Sasuke and that counted. Not that fooling Sasuke took any effort.

When they reached the secret basement of the Uchiha shrine, he felt doubt again. What if he had the wrong mask? But he didn't want to look stupid in front of his former minions. Hm, maybe he could kill them all? But no. He really wanted to get his arms back and he had to take the chance to accomplish it. And if it didn't work, he could get rid of the witnesses afterwards. He put on the mask and let the spirit of the Shinigami possess his body. There was a feeling of overwhelming power in the air and a figure materialized behind him. Orochimaru looked over his shoulder. He found himself staring into an old, wrinkled face with squinty eyes. But there was something wrong. He was certain that the Shinigami didn't have an eyepatch.

"Are you strong?" the Shinigami asked. Orochimaru blinked in surprise. That was new. He had never heard the Shinigami speak before.

"Yes," he answered, a sense of dread rising. Just how badly did he screw up?

"Great," Zaraki Kenpachi grinned and drew his sword. "Let's have some fun."

* * *

**End note:** Sorry for using Kenpachi again, but he was just perfect for this.


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's note:** Back again, and with something several readers asked for.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I don't own Bleach.**

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Sarutobi looked over his shoulder, to see how the Death God looked like. He expected some terrifying vision that would make him shake in his sandals, but all he saw was a petite woman dressed in black and white. Not particularly scary. But the look in her steel-gray eyes she was giving him... yep, that was terrifying enough. He had looked into Death's face figuratively often enough to not be fazed by it, but doing it so literally was quite different. But he gathered his courage and spoke his request.

"Please, Shinigami-sama, would you help me seal Orochimaru's soul?"

"You have no right to order me," the woman replied, her voice colder than ice. "Also, you committed serious offense by unauthorized opening of the Senkaimon, abducting a captain of the Gotei 13, attempting to force said captain to obey you and disrupting an Onmitsukidou operation. You are under arrest. You will follow me to Seireitei peacefully to face trial by the Central 46 or I will resort to using force."

"Huh?" was the Sandaime's articulate response. This wasn't going like he imagined. Did Minato face the same problem? He imagined this slip of a girl arresting the Kyuubi. It should have been a funny image, but there was nothing humorous about her. She was deadly serious, no pun intended.

"Kukukukuku," Orochimaru laughed. "Your best jutsu doesn't seem to be all it's cracked up to be, Sarutobi-sensei."

The shinigami woman looked at him and his laughter froze on his lips. Regardless of what he saw and did during his life, he still wasn't prepared to face something like this.

"You are possessing another human's body, you have made modifications to your soul and you seemed to have consumed another soul," she listed. "These are all serious offenses by the law of Central 46. You are under arrest. You will come to me peacefully or face the consequences."

"Make me," Orochimaru said, sounding braver than he felt. Suddenly Sarutobi's problems didn't seem funny anymore.

"My pleasure," the shinigami said drawing her blade. "I'll just exterminate you like a Hollow. Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi."


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's note: **Sorry for using the same shinigami twice again, but at least he gets a different summoner this time. I hope you'll enjoy it. Also, thanks for over 400 reviews. I hope e can make it to 500 soon.

**Disclaimer: I own neither Naruto nor Bleach.**

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Orochimaru showed no sign of hesitation. He had already picked a mask from the ruins of the Uzumaki Mask Temple, so now was not the time to second-guess his decision. Especially when people were watching. And even more especially when one of the people was Uchiha Sasuke, the arrogant little boy who had thought he could actually kill him, the immortal White Serpent. If he showed any sign of uncertainty, who knows what the stupid little Uchiha might try (not that Orochimaru actually feared him, because he feared nothing). The fact that Sasuke had brought him back to life too was conveniently forgotten. And besides, he was Orochimaru, the greatest of the Legendary Sannin, and he just didn't hesitate. He didn't. Even if he really wasn't sure if he had the correct mask because after so long he couldn't remember much of how did the Shinigami look like.

He put on the mask and hid any outward sign of relief that it didn't kill him on the spot. So he had chosen the right one after all. Not that there had been any doubt about it, because he was the great genius Orochimaru and he didn't make mistakes. Never. No matter what his sensei and useless teammates said. The surge of power he felt was a pretty good indicator of success too, so he felt no need to turn around and look what he had summoned. He was the perfect picture of confidence. Even the fact that Sasuke and his two little minions were shooting something behind him doubtful glances couldn't shake him. Not even Suigetsu's barely suppressed snicker, because Suigetsu was an idiot and grinned at everything.

He went straight for the next part of the ritual. He made a motion as if he grabbed a dagger held between his teeth. He knew that the Shinigami would mirror his movements. He was thankful for the mask hiding his wince when he was about to plunge the spectral blade into his stomach. He was very relieved when it didn't hurt. Maybe the part about sacrificing himself for the ritual was wrong. He just stood there and waited for his arms to return to him. And waited. And really didn't like the looks Sasuke and his little posse were shooting him. Suigetsu was now snickering openly. Juugo looked confused, but that was pretty much his default expression. Sasuke looked condescending, but that too was nothing unusual. But his arms still weren't coming back. That indicated that maybe, just maybe, something had gone awry. (It couldn't be his fault, because the great Orochimaru never messed up, no matter how it looked. Remember it finally.)

Finally he couldn't take it anymore and looked around. There behind him stood the Shinigami. The fact that he wasn't a towering white specter but a short young boy dressed in black didn't faze Orochimaru a bit. So the Shinigami could change shapes. Big deal. Any Academy student could perform the Henge. But he immediately spotted the reason for the failure of the ritual.

"Where is your sword?" he asked sternly.

"Uh, I forgot it in my room," the Shinigami said sheepishly. _Forgot it in his room? _Orochimaru thought. _What kind of deity forgets his sword in his room? _The shinigami boy seemed not to notice his thoughts and continued. "I'm Yamada Hanatarou, Fourth Divi..." At this moment Orochimaru, who hadn't been listening to anything Hanatarou had said after informing him of his forgotten zanpakutou, grabbed the poor boy by his neck, cutting off his introduction.

"Give me back my arms!" he screamed and shook the boy. Hanatarou just hung in his grip, his eyes wide with fear. He had thought that being captured by the Eleventh was bad, especially when they were drunk, but this was on a whole another level.

"He can't do anything if you strangle him," Juugo, always the bleeding heart, pointed out. Somehow it got through Orochimaru's anger. He let go of his captive and Hanatarou landed on the ground with a thud. Orochimaru towered over him, looking like an angry thunder god. Or maybe angry Zaraki. He didn't even come close to angry Unohana levels.

"Give me back my arms," Orochimaru repeated his order. Hanatarou knew that he couldn't refuse anything asked in this tone if he wanted to keep all his limbs. He wanted to run, but without his zanpakutou he couldn't open the Senkaimon. Maybe he should carry Hisagomaru with him from now on, provided he'd get out of this alive. With that possibility out, he had to placate the madman in front of him somehow. He had no idea what had happened to his arms and where they might be, so he couldn't comply with his demands. And he wouldn't be happy unless he got them back. That left Hanatarou only one option.

"I'm a healer. Maybe I can heal your arms," he offered and prayed it would be enough. That wasn't what Orochimaru had hoped for, but it was better than nothing. And he wasn't going to get any better from this one. Maybe he'd try another mask later.

"Alright," he sighed. "But don't even think about trying anything funny."

Hanatarou nodded and came close, activating a diagnostic Kidou. He studied Orochimaru for a while. He had never seen anything similar, and there was never a shortage of weird stuff in Seireitei. He counted five different souls in his body, none of them complete yet they showed no sign of becoming Hollow. One of them, the oldest and strongest one, was missing its arms, being severed at the shoulders with a great power he didn't recognize. He frowned. He tried a bit general healing Kidou at the wounds, but it did absolutely nothing. He tried a few more tricks, all with the same result. And his patient/captor was getting impatient.

"I'm sorry," he admitted defeat, "this is far beyond my expertise."

"What?!" Orochimaru couldn't believe his ears. Suigetsu was now rolling on the ground laughing. Juugo seemed worried and Sasuke even more condescending and disgusted than usual. Hanatarou took a step back, trembling in fear. "You can't do anything? And you call yourself the Shinigami! I'm going to..." Orochimaru was interrupted by the familiar sensation of a Chidori piercing through his chest. He turned around to see why had Sasuke done it this time, the mask falling from his face. Hanatarou disappeared, returning back home.

"Pathetic," Sasuke scoffed. "I really shouldn't have expected anything from somebody who isn't an Uchiha. I don't need you anymore. I guess I never did."

"Perfect, Sasuke!" Suigetsu laughed. "You got him good."

"Hn," Sasuke turned to him, his Sharingan blazing. "You aren't an Uchiha either."


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I don't own Bleach.**

**Warning: Spoilers for chapters 500 something.**

**Author's note:** I wrote this before today's chapter (561) came out.

**Summoning the Shinigami**

Abarai Renji felt awkward. Senjumaru Shutara might be the best seamstress in Soul Society and perhaps everywhere else too, her clothes might also work as armor and emergency reiryoku source, but her fashion sense left a lot to be desired. With all the cloth she had heaped on him he felt like a girl. All the silk made it hard to move around without tripping over it and in was covered in flower patterns in pink, yellow, baby blue, lilac, pastel green, cream, and did I mention pink? He looked so girly and cute in it that Rukia had laughed at him. He had retorted that she looked just as bad, but she had pointed out that she was a girl and looking girly and cute was a good thing for her. He had been just coming up with a witty comeback when the message of the Vandenreich attack on Soul Society came, sparing him further humiliation. He and Rukia raced to Seireitei, but it was too far away. So they ran. And ran. And ran some more.

And then he felt a tug and suddenly he was somewhere else. It looked like the Living World, but it had a different feel to it. When he looked around, he found out he was standing on a roof inside of some barrier. There seemed to be a battle going on around him. And there were two men, one old, dressed in armor, one younger, unhealthy pale and with a really weird soul. And that man was laughing.

"So that's your ultimate technique?" He paused to chuckle. "Summoning a transvestite? What good it is going to do you?"

_Transvestite? _Renji saw red. Some weird guy in a dress with a girly ribbon had no right to call him a transvestite just because he was wearing... eh, a dress. Maybe it was time to test his new zanpakutou.

A minute later, as the pale guy's body was lying on the ground in several pieces and his soul was being sent wherever the souls of people of this world went if they were seriously evil, he decided that the replacement for Zabimaru worked really well. So he returned to his original problem. There was a man who had seen him in a dress. For a brief moment he considered killing him, but then decided against it. It might send the guy into Soul Society and there he might tell what he had seen. So he just whacked him on the head and hoped it would cause traumatic amnesia. Then he remembered he had the memory replacement device and used it. He hoped the old man will end up 'remembering' something really weird.

And then it was time to test how his new Zanpakutou opened the Senkaimon. He had to return to Seireitei quickly and kick some Quincy ass so he could finally get rid of the ridiculous dress.


End file.
